Seperated for 18 mths. have 2 kids. hubby & I have been going out, trying to rekindle something?

but its more like friends. I can't kiss even really kiss him. Hugs are ok. But he tried to be intimate the other day and I could NOT participate. I wanted to climb under a rock. It just felt wrong. We have no closeness or intimacy. I asked him if he loved me because we haven't said those words in 2 years. He said no because over the last 2 years he'd lost alot of trust, love and respect for me,but he wanted to see if he could love me again. Later, when i said I was filing, he retracted and said when it comes down to it, he has some feelings for me. Now that he got fired, he wants to come home & "jump back in", as long as I let him hang out with his friends a few times a month. I found that odd. He's 34, not 14. he said i always tried to make him miserable & not let him do anything he enjoyed. All I wanted was for him to enjoy being with me sometimes. I told him I wanted a close deep relationship, he said he wasn't that deep/emotional. Does this sound impossible to rebuild?